The date went really well on Saturday. I met Enez at the Loring Bar by Loring Park. It was a sunny and chilly afternoon. Originally, I was going to take her to Kings on Grand Ave, but the Loring was perfect. We order wine. My date forgot her ID, but the waitress was satisfied by just asking her age (27). We were very chatty. I ordered a salad; she had buffalo wings and we shared fries. I learned that she grew up in East Germany with her father in the Red Army. She really is Russian. I told her about my grandfather and how he studied some Russian.
After our dinner, I walked with her across Loring Park to the Sculpture Garden. She hadn’t been there before. I was feeling flirty. I asked her if I could take a picture, but she politely declined. We didn’t hold hands and we didn’t kiss, even though I wanted to. We had fun as I walked her around the park and through the greenhouse to keep warm. On the walk back, someone complimented her on her scarf and I used the opportunity to say something like, “See? I told you you were pretty.” I walked her back to her place. She had some evening apartment showings so our date ended there. I was walking on clouds.
The next day, I went to volleyball. She avoided me and we played on separate teams and on separate courts. I did not win many games that day. No one wanted to play twos with me, but through demand and aggression, I finally conscripted a few helpless souls to join me. Most of my teammates hated playing with me.
At the end of the afternoon, one in Enez’s guy friends showed up. His name is Brandon and he is handsome. I felt jealous, but then I remembered Axiom #2 - There is always someone else. I started chatting with Brandon and we got to talking about mutual funds and banking and volleyball. I kept things pleasant. After volleyball, I sent Enez a text along the lines of “it was so nice to meet one of your friends.” She was slow to respond.
Yesterday, I called after work to try and plan something this week. I got a text later from her telling me she got a new phone and an apology for missing my call. This is a good thing, I suppose. I want to invite her over to my place for date 2 and see where the chemistry leads, but those awful scars of jealousy from relationships past are interfering with the purity I want from my feelings. I haven’t called her today and I doubt she cares.
I read Nimbusthedragon’s Monday post for this week about being average and mediocrity and it resonated with me. “Life of disappointment and mediocrity? Probable. […] I don’t want to say I’ve given up… but there’s a fine line between optimism and delusional thinking. Acceptance is the first step,” she writes.
It made me think of how the predominant feelings I carry these days are impatience and pessimism. Impatience to build a family of my own (because I’m tired of watching my childhood family drift away). Pessimism with regards to the fruitage of my work and investments. The candidates for the position of “MsScarry” are woefully sparse. I seem to find a candidate who fits the profile once every 3 months, but then my efforts are rewarded with failure and frustration. The whole point of the “talk to 3 new people every week” resolution is to increase the candidate pool so that I don’t have to wait 3 months for the next person I like to come along.
I’m not saying things are over between myself and Enez. It is just that I see that the odds of success have diminished with Brandon in the picture. I also eavesdropped on their conversations of the various groups they are involved in and I’ve seen her be extremely successful socially. I was hoping she would be awkward like me, haha. Is it possible that Ol’ McScarry makes her heart melt and her loins burn with fire? Sure. Is it likely? Doubtful. Am I going to give up? Not entirely, but I’m going to try to diversify the dating portfolio; underweight this particular stock.
Still, I had a very good date on Saturday and regardless of the results of my labors, I enjoyed that feeling I held oh so briefly about having a sexy Armenian girlfriend. The experience was a lot like buying a lottery ticket and then letting my mind drift off on what I would do with all the money I would win. Time to buy more lottery tickets!
New Bowling Shoes…
Ending things on a happy note this evening, I went bowling with Mitch, Donella and their family Monday night. We bowled from 10pm to 1am and I got home at 2. We drank a lot. I bowled for free because Mitch gave me his old bowling shoes. He told me they didn’t fit anymore. The reality is that he just didn’t loosen the laces - They fit just fine. But he meant it and gave it to me. It is the nicest thing anyone has given me this year.
I also learned that Mitch is the type of player, regardless of sport, that consistently plays at the level of his competition. When things become more competitive, he does better. For me, when things become more competitive, I check out and become worse. Perhaps I can learn competitive skill from Mitch?
Now that I think of it, when things become competitive, I generally begin to employ unconventional tactics. Things such as tightening the rules, randomizing my approach and technique and cheating. I used to cheat a lot more when I was younger. I always tried to change the rules. Now I just switch from right-to-left or left-to-right and look outside the normal field of play/approach. I’ll still lose, but at least I won’t be frustrated. I have other things I can blame failure on rather than my general suck-i-tude.
So yes. Bowling shoes. They rule.
I also broke 70 in a couple of games and I got a handful of strikes which resulted in some touchdown dancing from me. I remember doing Gangnam Style for one touchdown dance. I generally bended my knee and threw my hands in the air for others. If you’re going to suck, at least have a little pride in your failure.